What is Ego?

“The Ego always speaks first.”
(Line 5, Verse 3, Section VI, Chapter 5, Course in Miracles)

As I read this, this morning I paused and reflected on a conversation I was having with a client yesterday about channeling and the difference between our “Soul Voice” and our “ego voice”.

Identifying the ego voice is critical in using intuition, as I have come to experience the use of intuition. In fact, it is what takes the most amount of effort. And yet, as I spoke yesterday – I realized that it truly requires no effort at all!

Yes, no effort at all! Why? Because when you are hearing Soul Voice, working in the energy of the Divine, the ego voice has no fuel. It becomes like a fire that is in its dying embers and seeking more wood to stay alive. In the Divine energy there is no wood for the ego’s fire.

Reality Versus Fiction Continues

Continuing in the ideas of my last blog (see Feb. 21st), I had another collision between my reality and the realities of others, this morning.  Having had family around due to the death of our Aunt has brought other minds and ideas into my home. These ideas have not been part of my thinking in many years.  But interestingly, just like with the book I was reading the other day, they seemed to make their way “inside” and disturb me. 

Now I was not in any form of attack. Our family is more accepting than most. It was more my listening and “taking in” what was being discussed.

I live in a world of sharing, kindness, complete trust and no worry for where the “next buck” will come from.  As my family gathered around us, I began to perceive what that “looked” like from the outside looking in.

The Reality of a Fictional World

Today, as I took quiet time alone to reflect on the many ideas and feelings that the death of our Aunt has raised, another interesting realization arrived, quite unexpectedly.

I was sitting reading a lovely novel of fiction, set in turn of the century London, England.  The characters were in dire poverty, led simple lives, that gradually and rather predictably, began to fill with trauma and loss.

I found myself looking up from this book and realized that I was “taking on” in some ways, some of what I was reading. It was as if I had begun to “experience” what I was reading, instead of simply reading to get away from all that was happening in my house this day.

Empty?

I am empty today. Is this another learning experience? Could be, but it seems so much more than that. There has been a death in our family. My husband’s Aunt has died, not unexpectedly, but it has left a vacancy in our family, nevertheless. So why am “I” empty?

I am finding this difficult and yet ever so interesting. I hope this does not sound heartless, because I am certainly not that! But, with all that I have come to know and believe, I find the loss of this person from my life, so very interesting.  On the one hand, I “want” to feel loss, sorrow and maybe even some abandonment. In fact, this began with my realization that I did not feel any of those things and

Out of Time! No Time?

So, my day started out like any other. I hit the snooze on the alarm once too often, and then finally left the confines of the soft and warm bed.  Working for My Self, you might think, so no problem since you are your own boss. That is true, except that I do have appointments and clients arriving and expecting to see me at a certain time.  But I digress; I do have a point to this story.

My morning progresses as I move through my normal routines and time is ticking by. You know the feeling. Not rushed exactly, but there is a distinct pressure. So, now is the time that I stop and “be” with all those lessons and ideas I have been studying now for years. 

Through the Eyes of Another

I do not often have the opportunity to see, really see, my life through the eyes of another. Well recently, the “ WE “ in my life created just that for me. This opportunity of looking through the eyes of another, came into my experience in the simplest of ways. We had a new friend come into our home to care for our dogs when we were away, and Voila – with her came another interesting learning experience.

When we returned from our brief stay away, my friend took the time to share that she felt that my home had been a “wonderful retreat” for her.  Those words were powerful to me, as they caused me to stop and look around my small world, known as home, and see it through the eyes of another.

This opportunity to see my world in an entirely new way, truly took me on a new path. In fact, I would not be exaggerating to say that this catapulted – literally catapulted -  me out of my “ho hum, my life is boring” state of mind, into another place entirely.

TAKE NO CREDIT, TAKE NO BLAME

As I have said before, I am all about the miracles! I look for them all the time.  And what I realized recently, while talking to a client, is that by calling happy coincidences – miracles – I do not take credit for the good things that happen in my life.  It is my way of acknowledging the presence of the Creator/Source in my life.  I see the orchestration of all that is in nature and then expect that same orchestration to be in my life as well.  This, for me, is taking the “ I “ out of life and creating a stronger connection to the “ WE “. 

I remember a teaching from Wayne Dyer when he said “nothing ever goes wrong in my life”. That was a huge statement for me to take in at the time.  I love it when something causes me to stop and think.