You and I : The Words

Language. As many of you already know, the words we use on a daily basis are so critical.  It is with our language that we create the world around us.  I do not mean the “you create your reality” idea; rather that our words reflect our thinking, and so truly give us an idea of who and what we are from the inside out.  I often say to my husband, that if people realized what I “heard” when they spoke to me, they would never speak to me. What I mean by that statement, is that the words my clients use, speak volumes to me about their inner condition.

Staying in that idea, I have been working with the words “YOU” and “I” in my own speech and have had interesting results. From my work with the Course in Miracles and Disappearance of the Universe, my awareness of my ego has increased. I enjoy this and do find it very interesting to see, and to feel, my ego’s presence. 

One the ways that I have been able to strengthen my awareness of my ego is with these two words.  Truly, try this!  I have stopped using the word “YOU” in my language and replaced it with the word “I”. I try to do it all the time, and the results, for me, are astounding!


When I first began, it was truly amazing how often I used “YOU” and not “I”. I think that this blog also helped with that awareness because I did not want it to sound preachy but personal and so insisted with myself to speak from the “I”. Once I started that, I carried it further and “YOU” started to disappear from my spoken language as well.

What I mean is in normal conversation, when David and I are discussing this or that, or at lunch with girlfriends.  Instead of saying “you” should read this book, or “you” should try that sandwich; I now speak from the “I” and say “I” read this book and had great results; or “I” tried this sandwich and I loved it.  Why? Because I came to realize that speaking as I was, from the “YOU”, had arrogance in it hence awareness of ego; for how would I know what sandwich someone else “should” try or what book someone “should” read. To speak from the “YOU” I had to draw comparison and then make a judgment: all egos!

Going even further, I use “I” when I am speaking about my opinions as well, and that is really neat.  By example, “I” wonder if acceptance is …..  Instead of “don’t you think that acceptance is ….

What I am getting at here is this. I am finding that when I use the word “I”, I do not judge as much.  Why? Because when I use “YOU” I am comparing or suggesting or stating what I think; so why not just use “I” since it is my comparison, my suggestion and my opinion.

First, this then causes me to become very aware of how many opinions I do have and to stop and wonder if this person has asked for “MY’ opinion or … ego. My friend, Rita and I created a word – “pa do dull” I am spelling it phonetically and its meaning is “unsolicited advice”.  This exercise of using “I” instead of “YOU” has made me so very aware of using too much padodull. Why am I telling this person what to do, think or read, AND did they ask me for this opinion?!?

Second, using “I” causes me to claim not just my thoughts,  and my opinion but, in other conversations, my power.  Yesterday we were talking about the fine line between acceptance and challenge, in friendship.  (Another blog that I must write.) And as I spoke using I, I claimed my thoughts and so felt more powerful doing it. Try it, and feel what I mean.  Again, by example, saying something like, that as “we” grow “we” become more aware of how we change and shift. When I say that sentence again using “I”, I could feel the power being claimed in saying “as I grow I become more aware of how I change and shift”.  I find even writing this, I can feel the change in the direction of the power.  The claiming of it all makes such a difference to me.

So, another experiment “I” am suggesting.  Even for just a day or two, try replacing all your “YOU” statements with “I”. At first, catching the “you”s may be tricky, so each time you miss one, I suggest re stating that same sentence quietly, in your mind and feel the difference. As I use a “YOU” statement and then follow it with an “I” statement, the difference becomes even more apparent.

Now the view from here is changed in how I speak about the view from here.  Gosh I love being human!!

Hey, as I re read this to edit I noticed the first paragraph. An experiment: go back and read the first paragraph and then come here and re read it, re stated from the “I”. That “YOU” word is everywhere.

“As I already know, the words I use on a daily basis, are so critical.  It is with my language that I create the world around me.  I do not mean the  my re“I create my reality” idea; rather that my words reflect my thinking, and so truly give me an idea of who and what I am from the inside out. 

WOW! I do so love life and its wonderful intricacies!!!