Business Note: Hard Drive Failure

Quick note: I recently had my hard drive crash and my back up, did not back up everything. I am choosing to see it as a “spring cleaning” of my computer and am reconstructing

Reiki as the Divine Feminine

Was having a truly joyous time at our book club on Monday evening, discussing the Hawkins book"Power versus Force". Not to mislead, Hawkins is not a funny book. It just seems that we are able, in this book club, to laugh at things in the most curious way. I have come to love these women because of the lightness we seem to bring out in each other. I have truly come to understand, through this book club experience, how interaction truly leads me to see My Self, laugh at My Self and see My Self with such honesty. My gosh, for me, it is truly ONLY with other people that I can see My Self and know the dynamics of my beliefs in action! I am amazed.

But to my story, as we were discussing a wonderful experience one of my friends had had at a Grandmother Speaks Ceremony, I suddenly got a flash understanding. As our world is changing – for the better I might add – there is a re balancing going on.  It is often said, and I believe, that there is too much “male” or “yang” energy in our world.  This has nothing to do with male and female gender for each human have male and female energy within them. Very briefly, the male energy is the intellect, aggression and competitive part of our being; the female energy is the emotional, creative and cooperative aspect of our being. In balance, we are powerful!

Well, my flash of understanding came about the feminine.  I have been a big believer in the Reiki forces – a healing modality brought to the earth in the mid 1800s by Dr. Usui. It is quite well known, so no surprise I am a big supporter of it. BUT – my support has always felt different from how I see others refer to it. In fact, I see Reiki and Reiki training not as a means to “becoming” a practitioner but as a means to further each participant’s journey.  I feel that Reiki brings “courage” to the body; courage to heal itself, courage to choose; courage to know the Self. That was just naturally how I saw Reiki. My Reiki Master did not “teach” this, it was just how I always experienced Reiki.

Now don’t get me wrong, I feel Reiki practitioners are important but I do not feel that everyone who takes Reiki is meant to be a practitioner.  I have often wondered why there are so many practitioners. Well, in this flash of understanding I – understood!

The Reiki energy, as I see it, is a soft, undulating, rhythmic energy. I always start any treatment with it, even Rebirthing, because I find it softness the client, helps relax and open them. Why? Well, here it is – I suddenly realized that the Reiki energy is the feminine and we need it so much to help balance the male. I see Reiki as Ying and it is working to balance the Yang – not just in the “world” but in each individual as well!!

I know, simple, and maybe obvious to others but a revelation to me this day! I have always said that if money were no object, I believe everyone could have a Reiki or energy body treatment each month. In fact, in this day of almost monthly energy shifts, I believe that body work is a “requirement” for maintenance of our balance and good health! It was a feeling I was speaking from and never really understood why it just felt sooo important to me. Well now I do!

Now, I understand.  As our world comes into balance Ying to Yang – we each need to individually, come into balance as well.

The First

Went to "The Airbender" movie movie last night and found it interesting. What the movie left me with was a question – why is there always “only” one. I thought about the movie"The Matrix" in which Neo is the “only one” who can …. And now in Airbender, Aang is the “only one” who can … That then brings to mind Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammed … the “only ones” who can …

As I pondered this idea what came to me was this. It is NOT “only one”, what it really is “THE FIRST” one who can.  In our weekly book club, we are working with David Hawkin's book “Power versus Force” and he explains why.  He suggests that there has to be one person who breaks through so that others can follow.  This is most obvious in sports, the first man to break the 4 minute mile, the first ….. There are many in the sports world because there are so many records to be broken in the sports world. But the point is, to use his words, there has to be a positive attractor in order for others to consider that that action is now a possibility.

As I pondered these ideas, I smiled for again I can see how ego wants to make the impossible remain impossible, or at least elitist – meaning that ONLY ONE can ever do, be, succeed at this, that or the other thing.  As always, I am seeing the ego isolate.

Tuning In

I have reached the light at the end of the tunnel. Most interesting about finally coming to this point in my journey, is that I realized I reached the light at the end of the tunnel first, because I looked for it, and second, because I expected to.

As I have been writing about, infrequently so as not to dramatize it, I have been in this tunnel or cocoon of personal release and development and now finally am feeling My Self. Interestingly, I almost said “again” – My Self again – but I cannot say that. For the “My Self” that I am feeling now, is far different from who I was a mere three months ago. I cannot detail the differences, but it feels so different inside of me and inside of all that I participate in and do.  But I digress.

What I wanted to write about today is this whole concept of “tuning in” and “tuning out”. 

Clear Again

Don’t feel like I have anything greatly insightful to share today but do feel like I cannot leave the blog as it is.  One of the things about sharing in the blog, is that sometimes I re think what I have shared and the wisdom of it.

Truly, I want to document my way through the maze we call life, as I change and attempt to become more and more aware of my sparkling, wholly acceptable self. But other times, like after writing the last two blogs, I wonder if it is just my ego speaking in print.

Anyway, wanted to say today that I have found my way through all the emptiness and the way was lighted with Laughter! That was a surprise to me as well. I have found my laughter and that has caused me to lighten up considerably.

I truly believe that my ego had taken the real feelings that I was writing about in the June 1st blogs, and exaggerated them to create drama.  My, my but my ego is clever!

Anyway, am not “back to normal” for I truly feel that version of me is completed and gone forever. I am still exploring and stretching into this version of me – not better, just different. 

In this version of me, I do find that I can laugh more easily.  The feeling of “no necessity” that I struggled with for many weeks, has evolved into

And then later ...

Later … June 1st

I continue to write today. Since the words are here, I will continue.  This time I do want to share an insight I found in myself a few days ago. As I explained in the previous blog – please read it first as this one will not make as much sense if you have not read the Blog from June 1st.

In the place of distance and lack of necessity, I find myself making mistakes and laughing at them.  The me that I used to being does not forget things, does not make mistakes. I know how arrogant that sounds, but truly I am  - have been – that “A” type personality that is always on top of everything. Of course, I make mistakes but these mistakes I am making now, are different. Let me explain.

I set up a classroom for intuition, a date that I set, and then “I” forgot about it! For the first time in 10 years, I forgot a class. A mistake. But what was so very, very interesting is that when I got the phone message asking where I was, I was completely astonished. There was no trace of that class idea in my brain anywhere. My first reaction was that they were wrong. But, then a dawning came and I remembered and … here is the miracle … I laughed.

Now, I mean no disrespect in sharing this. It was a miracle because I did not beat myself up.

And now what ...

It has been a while since I have written anything for the blog, as you can see. Life has been unfolding at a break neck pace. As I have been talking about over these blogs, I have been working with various teachings and energies, all in the effort to “awaken” and release “ego”. Well, let me say that the process of letting go of the ego and of becoming more awakened has been a very uncomfortable one.

I have not been writing because I have been in so much experience that I have been overwhelmed. I am not speaking about an overwhelmed that comes with many emotions and processes; that I could handle because that is what I am very used to. Oh what I would give for the old triggered, over reaction emotions, followed immediately by process and then clearing. That is familiar to me.
But this …

This has been a whole other ball of wax! Where I have been these last weeks is a place I have never been before …. INDIFFERENCE.

I am connected. I am working.  I am present. I am in my relationships BUT through all of it, there is this wonderful distance that allows me a whole new perspective. That part has been great. But that then has led me to a place of non-involvement,

Inevitability

As I explore the practice of Acceptance, I am more often coming upon what I must accept simply because there is no choice present to do otherwise.  Now these opportunities (I use the word with a smile on my face) are not the simpler ones in my life.  As I face these times, I long for the simple opportunities of acceptance such as accepting the rain, accepting my more unhealthy choices like not going to the gym, or eating that last piece of pie.

NO, these are other times, other opportunities; times when truly my egoic self must face that it is, as it is, no matter what I do.  Of course, the most obvious one to me is death, but that one is easier, for me, than this one.  What I have experienced is more related to the aging process itself.

As I spend more and more time with Mom, David’s Mom who has become my Mom too, I am faced with my own human inevitability.  Witnessing her aging process and her gracious acceptance of what she no longer can control, I am literally frightened.  Dare I admit that to you as well as to myself – yes, I am frightened; the many controls that she is loosing, and so graciously accepting. The loss of memories, the loss of the flow of the conversation, the loss of some of her bodily functions; the list goes on and on.

It causes me to be faced so blatantly with my ego that I am speechless within myself.  “Inevitability”

Simply - A Poem

Recently, at a workshop, we were asked to present writings that had affected our spiritual journey. Below is the piece that my husband, David, presented. His remembering this poem, which I wrote in 1989, gave me a chance to revisit it.  I have taken time with this poem and had to see that in its simplicity, it held so much wisdom.  This has caused me to revisit my journey now, and reflect on how far I have come to only see, that I had the idea way back then.

I believe our  journey is meant to be simple.  Now that I have been reminded of that, I am working diligently to stop myself from complicating, what can be so simple.

So, I simply offer this to You. May it affect Your view in a simple way.


AND GOD SMILED

And God smiled down on us and said “Let all be well, let everyone be happy!”
But everyone did not listen. Everyone did not hear.

And so, some walked about unhappy waiting for more.
And some, walked about collecting,
    Busy collecting all the things they needed to be happy.

What is Presence?

I was recently reading an article in Oprah Magazine, March 2010 (click here and you can read it too, on line!). While reading the interview with Thich Nhat Hanh, I became aware of being present again.

For me, because of what I do, I am more often present than not present. Basically because I cannot do a reading and have my mind wander at the same time.  For me, when my work “tires” me, it shows because it takes more and more concentration for me to hold my focus.  If my focus leaves, I stop talking and a great pause ensues in the channeling I am doing. What is most interesting, and embarrassing about this, is that I am not even aware of it. I begin to speak again, thinking that I paused for a few seconds, when minutes have passed. Am happy to report it seldom happens.

But I digress.  We were talking about “being present”.

Acceptance Versus Challenge

Since I realized there was another blog in our conversation the other day, I decided to write it immediately.  Keeping up with this blog writing is not as easy as I thought as I have demonstrated with my sporadic writing lately.  But I blog when I find something worth repeating and not so much lately, but yesterday …

We were discussing the idea of Acceptance, my husband David and my friend Rita and I.  It is the “big one” for me, the whole acceptance idea. We were talking about it because I am becoming more and more aware of practicing acceptance in a real way and not just being in the philosophy of the idea.  My being a Capricorn, I want to “walk” not just “talk” the idea. So, my question to my friends was this: “If I am practicing acceptance, am I then cheating my friends by not challenging their thinking or their actions when I see weakness or unconsciousness in their actions or speech? Am I supposed to “accept” all their actions and words?”

You and I : The Words

Language. As many of you already know, the words we use on a daily basis are so critical.  It is with our language that we create the world around us.  I do not mean the “you create your reality” idea; rather that our words reflect our thinking, and so truly give us an idea of who and what we are from the inside out.  I often say to my husband, that if people realized what I “heard” when they spoke to me, they would never speak to me. What I mean by that statement, is that the words my clients use, speak volumes to me about their inner condition.

Staying in that idea, I have been working with the words “YOU” and “I” in my own speech and have had interesting results. From my work with the Course in Miracles and Disappearance of the Universe, my awareness of my ego has increased. I enjoy this and do find it very interesting to see, and to feel, my ego’s presence. 

One the ways that I have been able to strengthen my awareness of my ego is with these two words.  Truly, try this!  I have stopped using the word “YOU” in my language and replaced it with the word “I”. I try to do it all the time, and the results, for me, are astounding!

What is Purpose?

Sorry I have been gone so long. We did go on vacation and renovated the house. That led to fumes, dust and allergies; which resulted in “colds”, congestion and unwellness all around.  Life happens when you have other plans.

But this morning I awoke with a Blog unfolding in my head and so here I am.

We started the Meditation Series on Remembering Purpose last night and I awoke this morning with the whole “Purpose” idea rolling around in my head.

Often, in my readings, clients ask me about their “purpose”. When they do, they are looking for a mission and a reason; something to “do” or “become”. As I have worked with various modalities and listened to each soul’s answer to this question over the years, I have come to realize that purpose is so much more than what our small mind looks for it to be. 

Perhaps purpose is simply the recognition that what I am presently doing is not fulfilling and joy producing and so… the question arises, why am I here? To do this? No, it can’t be. Why am I here?

On Vacation.

I am on vacation now. So, if my blog entries are not as frequent, please understand. However, if another "The Gift" episode happens, trust me, I will be writing about it that day.  Enjoy the spring beginnings as we will be. I will be back sharing "my view from here" after April 2nd.

The Gift

A gift arrived yesterday morning and I was speechless. For those of you who know me, “speechless” is not usual for me, at any time. But this, this left me speechless.

It was early morning; I was out feeding the birds. As I walked to the feeder near the vegetable garden, I saw something on the ground. I realized it was a pair of deer antlers. I actually thought “are those antlers?” As I walked over to them, it was amazing.

There they sat, side by side, in perfect symmetry. As if, the deer had simply lowered his head and they had fallen from each side of his head. I was amazed. I knelt down almost afraid to touch them. 

Spark of the Creator

I had a wonderful opportunity recently, when I was channeling, to visit our Creator’s Spark within.  I have had many wonderful experiences during channel, and this one can be included in those. 

The feeling was, at first, as if I was in the protected womb; like a newly conceived baby, safe in the womb.  The feeling was whole and complete and ever so warm. Then I / We were guided to move in, even more deeply. That is when it really got ever so interesting.

As  I / We moved deeper and deeper within this newborn or newly conceived feeling, the strength and safety also increased. The point of the channel, as is explained in the March Message from a channeling in Moncton, N.B., was to take me/us to the beginning of our life here.  I was privileged to experience the “spark” of life

Who is My Self?

"What truth, what light through my mind’s window breaks?
It is the east, and the Holy Spirit is the sun
Arise my Friend, dissolve the ego moon
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou the truth art far more great than he
Oh It is the Christ Child, yes It is my Love
And if I knew What I was, the brightness of my mind
would shame the stars as daylight does a lamp
My Mind in Heaven would through the unseen regions stream so bright
The world would sing and knoweth not the night”
            Page 276, The Disappearance of the Universe
                    Gary Renard

I read this and my heart leaped. Now I am a Shakespeare fan, but this .. this was wondrous to me. It was so inspired of Renard to translate this piece from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, from what it was into this!

In this, the line that stands out the most for me is “ … if I knew What I was …”.

The Voice That is Me.

As I was saying earlier, I am so blessed to be working with the clients I do. For often the things I hear, the questions I am asked, cause me to stop and see what I believe and why I believe it.

I do not mean to harp on this belief idea. And I am not saying the same thing that I said in the last blog.  This is different, I promise.

The other day, as I explained what I did to a new client, I said that as I channel the voice changes, sometimes more than once.  And that wonderful client, very innocently asked me “why”? Why did the voice change when I channeled?

Beliefs: The Music of Our Lives?

There is a music, of sorts, that we unconsciously hear. It is the music of our life and it directs the steps – dance steps – that we take as we move through our life/our journey.

I like to think of this “music” as coming from the various ideas and beliefs that we have stored in our minds.  As I have worked with clients this past week, I have really found myself taking a new view of the music of people’s lives; even more so, the music of my life.

There are so many beliefs that we hold and demonstrate in all of our choices and decisions. I have come to realize that some of those beliefs are not so very obvious.  And so a new avenue in my personal journey has become, seeking to be more aware of my beliefs and what they are.

By example, yesterday as I worked with Course in Miracles, I suddenly became aware that I believed that my Soul “evolved”.  As I read my miracles text, I was asked to consider that perhaps my Soul did not have to evolve. The Course suggested that the Soul was “perfect” and with that statement, a realization

What is Ego?

“The Ego always speaks first.”
(Line 5, Verse 3, Section VI, Chapter 5, Course in Miracles)

As I read this, this morning I paused and reflected on a conversation I was having with a client yesterday about channeling and the difference between our “Soul Voice” and our “ego voice”.

Identifying the ego voice is critical in using intuition, as I have come to experience the use of intuition. In fact, it is what takes the most amount of effort. And yet, as I spoke yesterday – I realized that it truly requires no effort at all!

Yes, no effort at all! Why? Because when you are hearing Soul Voice, working in the energy of the Divine, the ego voice has no fuel. It becomes like a fire that is in its dying embers and seeking more wood to stay alive. In the Divine energy there is no wood for the ego’s fire.

Reality Versus Fiction Continues

Continuing in the ideas of my last blog (see Feb. 21st), I had another collision between my reality and the realities of others, this morning.  Having had family around due to the death of our Aunt has brought other minds and ideas into my home. These ideas have not been part of my thinking in many years.  But interestingly, just like with the book I was reading the other day, they seemed to make their way “inside” and disturb me. 

Now I was not in any form of attack. Our family is more accepting than most. It was more my listening and “taking in” what was being discussed.

I live in a world of sharing, kindness, complete trust and no worry for where the “next buck” will come from.  As my family gathered around us, I began to perceive what that “looked” like from the outside looking in.

The Reality of a Fictional World

Today, as I took quiet time alone to reflect on the many ideas and feelings that the death of our Aunt has raised, another interesting realization arrived, quite unexpectedly.

I was sitting reading a lovely novel of fiction, set in turn of the century London, England.  The characters were in dire poverty, led simple lives, that gradually and rather predictably, began to fill with trauma and loss.

I found myself looking up from this book and realized that I was “taking on” in some ways, some of what I was reading. It was as if I had begun to “experience” what I was reading, instead of simply reading to get away from all that was happening in my house this day.

Empty?

I am empty today. Is this another learning experience? Could be, but it seems so much more than that. There has been a death in our family. My husband’s Aunt has died, not unexpectedly, but it has left a vacancy in our family, nevertheless. So why am “I” empty?

I am finding this difficult and yet ever so interesting. I hope this does not sound heartless, because I am certainly not that! But, with all that I have come to know and believe, I find the loss of this person from my life, so very interesting.  On the one hand, I “want” to feel loss, sorrow and maybe even some abandonment. In fact, this began with my realization that I did not feel any of those things and

Out of Time! No Time?

So, my day started out like any other. I hit the snooze on the alarm once too often, and then finally left the confines of the soft and warm bed.  Working for My Self, you might think, so no problem since you are your own boss. That is true, except that I do have appointments and clients arriving and expecting to see me at a certain time.  But I digress; I do have a point to this story.

My morning progresses as I move through my normal routines and time is ticking by. You know the feeling. Not rushed exactly, but there is a distinct pressure. So, now is the time that I stop and “be” with all those lessons and ideas I have been studying now for years. 

Through the Eyes of Another

I do not often have the opportunity to see, really see, my life through the eyes of another. Well recently, the “ WE “ in my life created just that for me. This opportunity of looking through the eyes of another, came into my experience in the simplest of ways. We had a new friend come into our home to care for our dogs when we were away, and Voila – with her came another interesting learning experience.

When we returned from our brief stay away, my friend took the time to share that she felt that my home had been a “wonderful retreat” for her.  Those words were powerful to me, as they caused me to stop and look around my small world, known as home, and see it through the eyes of another.

This opportunity to see my world in an entirely new way, truly took me on a new path. In fact, I would not be exaggerating to say that this catapulted – literally catapulted -  me out of my “ho hum, my life is boring” state of mind, into another place entirely.

TAKE NO CREDIT, TAKE NO BLAME

As I have said before, I am all about the miracles! I look for them all the time.  And what I realized recently, while talking to a client, is that by calling happy coincidences – miracles – I do not take credit for the good things that happen in my life.  It is my way of acknowledging the presence of the Creator/Source in my life.  I see the orchestration of all that is in nature and then expect that same orchestration to be in my life as well.  This, for me, is taking the “ I “ out of life and creating a stronger connection to the “ WE “. 

I remember a teaching from Wayne Dyer when he said “nothing ever goes wrong in my life”. That was a huge statement for me to take in at the time.  I love it when something causes me to stop and think.

Complicated Creates Not Done.

Was listening to the radio news this morning and began to hear “complications” in many different ways.  It caused me to think about how we often take something simple and make it bigger and more difficult to achieve, by complicating it.  Then, because it is now such a complicated project, a study is required, the delay is justified and even not completing it at all, is reasonable.

Because of my beliefs, I then had to look at me. If I was seeing too much complication out there, then … were there complications in my world too? I believe there had to be, because in my world that is how it works: I see what I see outside of me BECAUSE it exists inside of me!!

I am an organized person. I make lists and map out the many tasks and errands that need doing.  But then, … my busy ego mind gets involved and pressure begins to build. 

How Do I Get My Power Back?

Recently, I was asked this question “how do I get my power back?   And it caused me to reflect on my journey to “restoring my power”. 

It is an interesting idea. First, because you have to consider that perhaps you do not have “all” of Your power and if YOU do not have all Your power, then who does and how did they get it?

When I was aware of not having my power, it was more feeling like I did not have the choices I wanted to have. Like I could not choose what I wanted, but had to choose or follow what others

It Snowed Last Night

We have just had another snowfall last night. Today the sun is shining and the snow is sparkling. Now, some of You may not be able to relate to this, but really what I am writing about today is the art of meditation while living and breathing – day to day.

Today, as I stand outside and lean on my shovel, I am immersed in a silence that, for me, comes only with the snow.  Always, after a snowfall and often in the middle of it, I go out to listen to the snow.  The silence for me is all encompassing. It surrounds me with a cushion of silence

I See You!

Saw the Avatar movie for the second time last night. It is impressive. I find there is a lot of violence that I have to suffer through, but I felt the need to “visit” the planet of Pandora again. Its beauty called out to me.

What is most beautiful, and inspiring to me, was the harmony of connectedness on this planet. Now, I know it is a fictional place, but the possibility of that kind of harmony was inspiring.

It is reported that Ghandi once said “live in the world the way you want it to be” and I saw how it could be in this movie!  I saw soft listening, respect and connection between

The God Script? The Ego Script?

As I study the Renard book, “Disappearance of the Universe”, I am amazed at the analogies that are used by the wise beings he is conversing with.  I find their guidance practical and wanted to share how I find it is working in my life.

There is a concept, around page 280 in the book, about what is called the “scripts” that we are living our lives by.  There is the “ego script” and there is the “God Script” (God

Silence in Action

I have become aware of the need for silence in my life and more importantly in my journey.  Recently I attended the Oneness Blessing Initiation Workshop here in Fredericton, and a lot of its teaching comes with silence as a requirement.  I found this difficult to say the least, but as the weekend progressed I saw the use of it as a tool that I had not considered before.

As one who has meditated for many years, I have experienced silence and found the use of it in my quiet, contemplative time. But, as an active tool in my day to day existence, that I had not experienced in the way I did on this weekend.

The requirement on the weekend was that there was to be no sharing of experiences or reactions to exercises. Instead,

So this is Blogging?

So, here I am, blogging.  Is that even a word?  I have decided this is a way to be more in touch with everyone on what I am learning and so wanting to share with each of you, and this is my method of doing that.

Recently I began to wonder about the Oneness nature of us as beings.  As I study Gary Renard's book, “The Disappearance of the Universe”,